Humorous Best Man Speech - The Groom’s Life Story :: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches

Humorous Best Man Speech - The Grooms Life StoryGood afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Its affect just how far some people are prepared to travel for a free lunch. Its a good job the rail didnt select the menu, otherwise we would have had penut-butter sandwiches washed down with beer.Firstly, I have a feet messages to read out.(read telegrams etc.) As Bill Clinton said to each of his girlfriends, I wont carry on you long.Id like to begin by thanking the groom for asking me to be outstrip man. I would also like to thank the bride for everyowing him to ask me. The groom has a splendid set of friends, and to be nominated from such esteemed company is without doubt a great honor. Thanks also to the ushers, friends, and family who have all helped to make this day so special.(To the bride) You make a fine bride and look beautiful and radiant. I couldnt help but notice the groom swell with haughtiness when he saw you walking clown the aisle in that dress. (To the groom) You are indeed a lucky man, you have married someone who is attractive, warm, loving and caring. A wife who will be all you could ever wish for and more. (To the bride) You have married someone who is handsome, witty, intelligent, charming, good looking... (To the groom) Sorry, Im having trouble reading your writing.When the groom asked me to be his best man, I consulted the Internet for help. I discovered that the job is essentially comprised of four main tasks1. Organize the stag party (bachelor party) - perhaps you could tell us once more how you burst the inflatable sheep.2. Help the groom dress (at last I found out where the G-string from Dublin went.)3. See that all ex-girlfriends are unplowed at bay (quite a task as most of them have been released under care in the community.)4. Make a speech. I thought it was freeing to be tough following a speech by the groom and I was right, I couldnt understand a single word he said.I did find a lot of other interesting things on the Internet bu t I wont go into that now.I met the groom over go years ago, and I often wonder what it would be like if I didnt have him as a friend. Sometimes the smile lasts for days.